Unbalanced Triangle

By Shertease Wheeler:

JOY–

Look at her belly, all swollen, bursting with the freshness of new love. This is the third time for her. The third time she’s complained, not about the feelings of continued wonder as a women may feel when carrying life, but of the burden that has suddenly been cast upon her. She knows nothing about the beauty of it all. She doesn’t realize or understand the mystery of having the physical power to make a human being from scratch. No fillers, no flavors, no artificiality added ingredients. Just a time old tale of a woman’s body automatically understanding, and succumbing to the will of nature, to bore a living and breathing creature in her likeness. She is like God, you see. She is the embodiment of God. My dear friend, Tabitha, is a magnificent person. The power alone in her body could bear enough to ensure the continuity of mankind. How could she not understand this? To tell her that she is like God would be blasphemy. However, I know truth, and the truth is as real as that seed growing inside her. That seed will manifest itself in the womb of the earth, break through the barrier and sprout the most marvelous branches and flowers possible. Eventually, its own seeds will fly away and root itself in the earth, only to begin the process all over again. Tabitha herself is a great gardener, you see. That seed could not sow without her. That seed would dry out, shrivel up and crumble into dust until it’s blended perfectly with the air she breathes. No, she doesn’t understand any of this, I’m sure. What can I do, but be there for her? Her own husband deserted her in the direst of times. My Tabitha, who grew up in foster care since 13 because her only living relative had finally left the world to join the rest, only has me and Sandra, and of course her seedlings. But what beauty is that? She still cannot see her freedom, her blessings that mother earth is trying to give her. Is it not enough to have come out of the fire of homes incapable of sharing love? To move on to lead a successful life, with or without a man? No, I guess for her is it not. I wonder if she can detect the hesitation in my voice when I offer words of congratulations. I’m curious if she sees the green in my eyes when I appear happy at her seedlings growth. If she does, I wish that she will say something, anything, so that I can break my silence. But as a good friend, no, a great friend, I will hold my tongue and try my hardest not to want so badly what she has.

TABITHA–

Humph, she’s really starting to get on my nerves. I love Sandra, but she just doesn’t know how good she has it. Having a man around the house, there for you when you need him, has to be the loveliest of feelings. He treats her like a queen, like the wife that she is, but she couldn’t care less if he lived or died. She’s selfish and vain that way. Always thinking life is about her, always too self-absorbed to notice anything of significance. I’ve got her ticket. I know who she tries to be, but I will not give her away. I have two children and another on the way, and Sandra has not an inkling of the hardships my life has become. I have no one to help me out with my babies, and she has this great man who loves her unequivocally. He’s always there to catch Sandra when she’s too crazy to catch herself. She just brushes it off as something of the norm, something that everyone has. To her, his love has become obsolete; unimportant forever more in her heart. When I share my thoughts, she tells me I can’t fathom anything of the sort because I don’t have a man in my life. Until I get one, I shouldn’t say a damn word to her about how to treat her man. Since then, I’ve let it go and learned never to show my emotion when I see mistreatment. I so badly want to take him away from her. I want to show him how a real queen should treat her king. There’s nothing more I wanted than to love, and to have that love returned. Too bad for me, he only has a heart for Sandra, and she knows it. He’s turned into a puppy dog for her, and she’s taking advantage of it. Sometimes I loathe her deeply. She’s my best friend, her and Joy. I love them both as sisters. We grew up together and went through things other people couldn’t imagine. Sandra doesn’t know what she has, but I certainly do. What I wouldn’t give for that one constant in my life. I’m sure she loves him, but I know I could love him better. It’s a shame none of this will ever come to pass. I couldn’t betray her like this, even if what she has is better suited for me. He is hers, and hers only. I know I need to find my own, but what little I’ve found has not compared. He is who I belong with. It’s a love in the wrong time and place for me. I think he knows. I think Sandra even knows how I feel, but none of us will confront it, and it may be better that way. For now I can only dream in my sleep that he is mine. For those precious moments of REM when my dreams are most memorable, I will give him everything, taking him, heart, body and mind, from the loose grip of Sandra. Leaving her to mourn what she can no longer appreciate.

SANDRA–

Joy is the most beautiful woman in the world without trying. She’s so nonchalant about it, and sometimes I hate her for it. How can someone so beautiful not flaunt it to the world? Why would she not exploit it for her gain? No, she says beauty is only skin deep, and all of that crap they teach you on after school programs. Beauty is power in my book. My life experiences have taught me that. Being around Joy has taught me that. I see how her beauty gets us to the front of the line at exclusive clubs, free drinks and VIP status wherever we go, and tickets to just about any show. This isn’t the half of it! She’s my ace, but I wish I had her beauty. I could do so much with it. I feel stuck and limited in the face that I’m in. It can only get me so far, and right now, I want more. I want the unexplored and unfounded galaxies. I want anything that the most beauty can get, which is everything. Why can’t I have it? More importantly, why shouldn’t I have it? Unfortunately, the only thing stopping me is my less exotic gene pool and familial traits. I curse God just about every time I see Joy. Why couldn’t I have her beauty since she doesn’t seem to care about it all that much? She would seem content to have a pretty every day face like mine. Something just good enough to get the kind of man I currently have. A face just good enough to settle with a lower level than deserved. I’m like a piece of jade with a somewhat clouded surface, while Joy is simply a flawless diamond. There’s no way that the two can compete against the attention of a potential buyer. Flawless diamonds will always be chosen. I shouldn’t be saying these things about my best friend, but I can’t help it. If we could only trade, I wouldn’t have to try so hard to be as beautiful as her. I wouldn’t feel like I’m always the loser in a daily competition. I want to finally win and be more than her. Recognition for my appearance is what gives me solace. I want to be the center of attention wherever I go. Joy takes is all away from me. I shrink in her bright light every single time, like pupils under a flashlight. I’m tired of going unnoticed by the people I truly want to be noticed by. As time continues, I will only grow older. I just want to finally be beautiful, to everyone.

Thanks for reading!